(art by Phil Noto)

I can’t wait until Star Wars Episode VII comes out. So until then, I will speculate what it will be like. In other words, check out my fan fiction!

We open up on outer space and shit. The camera pans down and we see the city planet of Coruscant. A small stealthy attack ship darts past the camera towards the unsuspecting planet. Under the cover of night stealth droids ascend upon a really cool looking palace. The stealth droids start to make their way past security while ducking into the shadows. They get caught and there is a firefight, full of lasers.

You find out that this is the palace of Queen Leia and King Solo. They pull out their guns and join the fight! BAM!! So down the hall there is this girl. She is Princess Leia Jr. and she is running away from the fight. She makes her way down to the royal garage where she is looking for an escape ship, but there are Stealth Droids blasting them to smithereens.

Princess Leia Jr. ducks in the shadows and goes to a secret garage below the main deck. Down there is the Millenium Falcon!! Oh snap! She boards the ship, where she discovers C3-PO and uses him as her co-pilot as it rockets into outer space.

Lost and alone, Princess Leia Jr. wanders the galaxy. Not fully grasping the nature of the attackers, she decides to seek out the one person she could trust. She flies to Dagobah to find her uncle.

For the last 30 years, Luke Skywalker has been living as a hermit on the swamp planet with R2-D2 as his only companion. Ever since his brush with the Dark Side during the Battle of Endor, Luke has been meditating and doing everything to suppress the rage that started him on a dark path.

Princess Leia Jr shows up and there is a touching reunion between 3PO and R2. Luke listens to his niece’s story and must find it in himself to teach her the ways of the force, find more Jedi allies and track down the evil forces that have put the new republic in peril. Luke will try to atone for the sins of his father and restore greatness to the Skywalker name…

Then all kinds of Star Wars happen!


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About casinoskunk an action film made in 1982 directed by former stuntman Hal Needham.

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