End of Days

End of Days

Holy cow, here we go again. As bad as The 6th Day was, i would rather watch that than The End of Days. The thing that i hated the most about The 6th Day was the lack of cool villains, but this has Gabriel Byrne as Satan, but it still sucks. I really like Arnold, but all of these movies that came out toward the end of his career lacked any of the fun that Arnold had earlier in his career. I have the feeling is because Arnold was trying to get action movies with more substance. Instead of having fun, it was all about cloning, terrorism and religion. I missed the days where he just went out and killed a bunch of people for revenge.

The story of End of Days is pretty simple. It is the end of the century and at the stroke of midnight, the devil has to impregnate the offspring of Jesus in order to begin “The End of Days” and it is up to Jericho Cane (arnold) to stop this from happening. Or at least that is what i remember the plot being.

Jericho Cane is a tough New York cop, complete with a Staten Island accent, who is on the verge of suicide and does not believe in God. His life sucks and he does not give a shit about anyone, he also happens to be the smartest man on the planet. You see, toward the beginning of the film, he ends up going to a crime scene with his partner, played by Kevin Pollak, where they find a body with a bunch of religious symbols carved into his body. In the body is etched the words “Christ in New York”, a clue which Jericho immediately deciphers as Christine York. I don’t know his line of reasoning to this, but you can follow his outer monologue which goes something like this, “Christ in New York? Christ in New York? CHRISTINE YORK!”. Normally i would blame this scene on weird acting by Arnold, but in this case he was given really shitty dialogue that nobody would be able to make sound normal.

Some other stuff happens in this movie, then Gabriel Byrne turns into a big CG Demon that looks dumb. Jericho Cane kills the demon and saves the world. The End.

There is not much that i can say about this movie. The action is alright and Arnold is doing his best to play it  serious, which again is no fun. That is all i have to say about End of Days. I hope you are all looking forward to my glowing review of the George Clooney classic, Batman and Robin. Yikes!

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About casinoskunk

...is an action film made in 1982 directed by former stuntman Hal Needham.

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