Friend, and the Powers They Have…326
I know that none of the ones i am talking about will read this, so here i go.
All of my friends are good at heart, but it seems like they forget sometimes who they are, and who their friend mean to them. I am the same way. I tend to stray away from being the best friend i possibly could be, and might a dick every so often. Right now i am sitting at my computer on a sunday morning being totally pissed off…
-dylan just called right now, and now was not a good time, i guess this will help with what i will eventually get at, with this, my most serious journal entry-
…Anyway, i just called Ben, to give him an update on plans we had made last night. I was in a bad mood, and i am sure i came off kind of like a dick. The phone call was very matter of fact, to the point, and I made no “fun talk” during the convo. I was not pissed at ben, but i am sure ben now thinks i am a dick, or maybe he thinks”oh shit ralph must be in a bad mood, maybe i won’t fuck with him.” Either way, i was wrong being a dick to ben, when he had no idea i was pissed at someone else, when he picked up the phone.
I was actually pissed at one of my other friends who, cannot say anything, without putting a negative spin on it. And doing it in a way that he usually does, which is “i am above whatever it is, that i am referring to.” It is funny , that whenever i call him out on being a dick, he replies with his patented phrase,”i was just kidding”. fuck that!
kidding is saying,”Your mom sucked my dick last night.”
What makes this line harmless,is the fact that it is something that the person receiving the burn knows is out of character for the person giving the burn. When you say something that could have some sort of truth to it, it is not just kidding. It is mean spirited and fucked up.
There is a girl at work that i don’t get along with. I always show restraint when it comes to finding an opening to tell an off color joke about her. I know it would normally in good fun, but because of our poor relationship at work, i tend not to dispense some wacky burn, because i know it would be mean spirited.
The reason i was really pissed off, when i called ben, was because the plans that we had made last night, were obviously be over ruled by another one of my friends, who is notorious for over riding plans. I think this blows. Why should one person in a group bad mouth plans, and think that he is above them, to the point where he forces everyone to follow. I will tell you why. It is because we let him get away with it. Why, you may ask? The answer is simple. All of my friends are fucking pouting babies, and that includes me.
I realised the other night that all my friends are totally different than each other. Not a single one of us are alike, at all. We may have similar taste in films and things of that nature, but we all come from different back rounds.
Some of us have strong families that do things together. Some have strong families that live far away, and still keep in touch. One of us has their parents separate, within the last couple of years, but keeps in touch with both father and mother. One has lived with his mom, for as long as he could remember. One has a strong family and still makes the occasional trip to sunday mass. As for myself, i had the strong family who went to mass every sunday, but that all changed when my father left my mother, and was left to live with my mother, at the beginning of my senior year of high school.
Because of all these different backrounds, we are all outcasts. We connect on this one level. We may all be different but we still know that we belong.
Because i know we will always be friends, i know i could never be pissed at any one member of the group for very long.
Well, my journal has now entered “King Nerd” length. I am now just babbling, and should probably make some sort of point, but i really don’t have one, other than this. Deal with the shit that is going on, and don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill. My friends are always going to be there, and i don’t feel like being pissed the WHOLE TIME.
tomorrow- I will discuss why so many people die in Godzilla movies.